So now we have snow
It's surely cold out, but I still love it. My favourite part of fall has passed... the time when things are almost too cold outside for just a tshirt and hoodie, the leaves have all changed colours, the wind is blowing and you go for a long walk for the added benefit of coming home to a cup of hot coffee or tea to warm up. It makes me think of football. And other good things, but it always brings me back to my most favourite football memories. Playoffs always start in November; this time of the year reminds me of the feeling that all the hard work we did over the season is going to be tested. It is a feeling of apprehension and excitement. Sometimes I wish I had that feeling about school, I don't really think I ever have. Pity. Maybe I should try it someday... it might help in the motivation department. Now... if only I could devise a way to condition myself to associate that feeling with preparing for an exam or doing an essay or something like that. Any Psych majors care to help me out? I seem to have wandered down a rabbit trail here. Oh well, I don't mind if you follow my train of thought (or attempt to). Skip paragraphs or sentences at leisure. I'll just keep typing.
It seems to me that I have moments of deepest reflection when outside while the air feels cold. Well, that is if my memory serves me right. I guess that is one reason why I would never like to live in a place that was hot all the time. I could learn to be different, but there is something about just being cool and content. One thing that I miss most about Lac La Biche is the stars. I used to stop on the side of the road after being out late and sit on the back of my car, listening to music playing on the stereo inside and just look at the stars. 
You could actually see them there... unlike the orange that attempts to be a night sky here in Edmonton. I usually laid there for a while, cool and content, just being quiet. I miss those nights. And sometimes, when God was blessing us awesome people in the north, you could watch the Aurora Borealis. I have seen it here in Edmonton. It is like the difference between a trio of candles and a congregation of candles at a Christmas Eve service. Everyone should at least once travel north, as far as financially feasible, just to experience Northern Lights that are brighter than a full moon and that dance. Maybe something like this.
Yeah so, back to moments of reflection. I really could not explain why I feel like I have moments of deepest reflection while I am cold. Maybe I feel like God is closest when it is cold. I guess that means I will have more moments with God while driving Lindsay now (my car). Especially since moving to Sherwood Park will mean a half-hour commute to just about everywhere that I frequent right now. Ok... it is getting late and there were a few things that I wanted to tell you before I go so I need to get back on topic.
I watched Life is Beautiful today. And, let's face it, I cry every time I watch it. I teared up at the part where he talks over the loudspeaker to his wife, and I cried at the end of the movie. It didn't help that I watched it with my Mom who cried too. It always hits me how significant each person's life is when I watch that movie. It is the story of one life among the 10 million Jews that were killed during the Holocaust. And that story, of one life, evokes so much emotion. It gives me a very small picture of what I think God's love is like. To look at one life, to laugh and cry and care (albeit a very superficial way when you are watching a movie... but try to follow me here) so much, even when you just see a snippet of it, is huge. And what if God views my life like that. Laughing with me, crying with me, caring about me, loving me. And God takes it one step further, he gets involved and acts on his outpouring of love for me. Wow. I don't deserve it, yet God loves me. Go watch it again (or for the first time, it is a classic). Bring some Kleenex.
Now I'm going to sleep. I have started to fade and will give in to sleep. Sorry if you didn't get what you wanted in this blog entry. But, I make the rules here. Tangents are allowed and encouraged. I have had some interesting "news" in my life lately, but you'll just have to ask me about them... as I stated earlier, I'm going to sleep.
3 comments:
7.11.06
Ahh, Life is Beautiful. What a truly poignant, heartwarming, and enchanting film. I love how Guido appreciates so fully that life is beautiful that he devotes literally everything he has to preserve the life of his son, while still relishing the beauty and humour in life. Definitely a movie that merits a few tears. I like the analogy of God experiencing our lives' trials and triumphs not only as an empathetic viewer, but also as an involved player. Very true.
As for this snowy season that us Edmontonians find ourselves in, it is indeed a refreshing change, and the cold somehow is conducive to contemplation. It’s unfortunate that the city lights drown out the stars so often, and I must admit to a certain amount of envy over the fact that only on rare trips out to the country am I afforded a view of the superior rural night-lights. Apparently I’ve missed out on the aurora borealis in their full splendour as well. I remember the first time I saw them I was driving home from choir practice with my mom, sister, and auntie, and we were so elated to actually see the Northern Lights in the city; squealing may or may not have been involved. But I concede our Northern Lights kind of pale in comparison to the real meal deal.
Sadly, despite my status as a Psych major, I’m not sure how much light I can shed on the predicament of lacking the will to study or write a paper. If I knew the secret to increasing my drive to engage in school-related things, I would certainly take advantage of it. However, you could, I suppose, put yourself on a conditioning schedule where you rewarded yourself with a cookie, or equally appealing indulgence, each time you finished reading 30 pages, or had written another page in an essay. I’m not a big proponent of punishment, but if you find that the former strategy is ineffective, you could punish yourself by watching the Eskies missing out on the playoffs each time you found yourself not studying when you should be. Footage of missed field goals, wasted drives down to the 10-yard line, and bizarre turnovers might be sufficiently aversive to make studying a bit more attractive, I imagine.
In truth, though, taking advice from someone who is procrastinating from studying by writing this very comment is not very prudent. Perhaps another student in the most wonderful field of psychology would be more helpful. Alas, I have yet to discover the secret to distraction-free studying.
8.11.06
Well, that was depressing. I didn't realize how much I missed real winters. Although it could just be that I was taken in by the picture you painted.
While there is no part of me that wants to shovel snow more than the two times I did last year I do miss the cold air, the white (or brownish) ground and the bright sky. And I must affirm that when it comes to the Northern Lights there is nothing like the BIG ones. The ones that fill the whole sky and dance for hours.
MAN I MISS THAT STUFF. Next time I come up to visit in the winter you and I are taking a drive up north. We will go to where lights don't exist, turn on a (heterosexual, brotherly, non "romantic") cd and sit on the car and watch the aurora borealis. Then we will go throw eggs at who ever bought the LLB house.
I look forward to it!
18.11.06
I'm interested - what's the news my friend?? I head to Nashville on Tuesday for my official once a year "Day After Thanksgiving" shopping extravaganza. It will simply be too much fun - I cannot wait. Oh - and it will be nice (ok wonderful) to see Sher again. She's a good best friend (smile). Hope to talk to you soon to hear some of the latest. I miss you Matty... xo
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